I know I rarely write on this here “blog,” but wanted to vent a bit.
I used to love Chad Johnson. I’d go as far to even call him my (not gay) boyfriend to people. I bought 2 t-shirts with this image on it (I’m so white). I wore his jersey with pride and always defended his outlandish remarks and stunts as “positive and unselfish entertainment.”
Things have changed. Now, bitch-ass Chad won’t stop crying about wanting to be traded from the Bengals. His feelings are hurt that the local media, who he hasn’t talked to since October, blame him for the Bengals sucking. Well Chad,
- You are the team’s best player
- You demand the most attention
- You love taking credit when things are going well
Therefore…
- You’re gonna get some blame when things go wrong
- You’re a dumbass
- I hate you
After signing a mega contract extension for Chad in 2006, agent Drew Rosenhaus said:
“As long as I’ve been doing this, I’ve never been able to get an extension like this, basically because of the time remaining on the contract. It’s historical. And it’s a testament to Chad, and how well he’s performed, and to Bengals management for the way they have handled this and the commitment they’ve made to him.“
Hear that, Chad? The team made a large financial commitment to you to stay happy. You signed a contract saying you’d fulfill it. You think the crybaby approach will get you out of it.
The following graph shows that when Chad signed that contract, he was at the peak of his self-marketing ability and fanship level. Now in 2008, you can see that he’s nearly demolished all that he’d built up due to his whining.
Here’s what I hope for “Ocho Cinco”:
- Stubborn Mike Brown sticks to his guns and lets him sit out the entire season
- He doesn’t get paid
- He loses his endorsements
- John Clayton stops answering his calls (then he crawls back to local media)
- Bengals succeed without him
- 2009 season comes, he’s still under contract, not getting paid
- Bengals give rookie receiver Brian Robiskie #85 even though CJ is technically still signed to team
- He attempts an acting career but then realizes people only liked him for the football character that no longer exists
- TJ Houshmanzadeh gets a reality show to determine his new BFF and Shayne Graham is a finalist
That’s all. I feel better now.
11 Responses
couldn’t agree more!! i have one of his jerseys too, if you know anyone who is collecting chad memorabilia to burn it, let me know, i’d love to contribute to that. i’m a die hard Bengal fan and your best point is that I want mike brown to stick to his guns and let him sit - DON’T give chad his way.
I don’t know what I’d rather see more now:
Chad sitting on the bench, whining like a bitch, as the Bengals go to the playoffs. Of course, once he sees how well the Bengals are doing without him he’ll want back on and start talking about how the Bengals can be SB contenders if he’d play. Then Marvin promptly denying him.
Or…
Chad miraculously mans up, admits he was wrong for being a crybaby, admits that he has a lot of growing up to do, admits that Drew Rosenturd is a douche bag, and issues a public apology to Carson, Mike Brown, Marvin Lewis, the Bengal fans, and the entire Bengals organization.
Honestly I really don’t know which would be more satisfying.
I never thought Chad was anything like a fat headed TO. Boy I sure was wrong Chad make TO look like a Saint. I think Mike Brown should hang onto his contract until it is over in 2010 and put him on the practice squad. I am a die hard Bengals fan. My family room is painted orange and black, but I will gladly burn anyones #85 jersey along with mine.
He doesn’t belong on a team sport. I put his jersey on ebay for $1.
Dear Dave,
You disgrace my name. Chad is not as bad as TO for a few simple reasons. While Chad whines during the offseason, dances after touchdowns, and takes plays off, thus hurting his team. TO cries about the media criticizing him after dropping passes that could have won games, is not as good as he claims to be (85 is), takes pleasure in attacking his teammates (physically and verbally), and once claimed to have misquoted himself, thus proving that he is dumb enough to play in the NBA, and is therefore in the wrong league. I hope the Bengals send 85 to Philly so that the Eagles and prove just how much worse TO is than Ocho Cinco.
Could you imagine a team with TO, Randy Moss and Chad “Cry Baby” Johnson? They’d put the fun into disfunctional!
Didn’t another Bengals receiver do the same thing? (Carl Pickens I think) until he got his wish and either got traded to Tennesee or got released then he signed with Tennesee then I don’t think he made much of himself after that. Maybe the same thing will happen to Chad…get traded or end up with another bad team…Houston anyone or Miami?
Johnson is a crybaby and I’m glad Marvin Lewis is being tough and the fans are abandoning this guy. What a selfish jerk.
Also, your Y-axis label made me laugh. Good work.
You’re my hero bro… He’s acting like a little bitch
fu*k the ni**er crybaby!
[...] My divorce from Chad Johnson [...]
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