It’s amazing what you can come across with some random internet stumbling.  In a matter of minutes, I discovered these gems.  First, let’s start with the dogs:

USB Humping Dog Series 2:

That’s right, there was a Series 1 that was so popular there was demand for an upgrade.  The upgrade included improved pelvic thrusting, which can be seen here:

USB Exercising Dog:

Who’s the guy that was thinking of stupid USB gadgets and thought of a dog doing situps?  That’s the best he could do?  What the hell?  Naturally, he followed it up with USB Butt Sniffing Guy.  And for the action:

USB Pole Dancer:

Because nothing gets you more focused at work than being forced to remember the birthday at the strip club where you were physically accosted by strippers.  Or maybe a time that you enjoyed, but regardless this can’t be conducive to productivity, but who cares?  Buy it for someone.