Cue Pimp Juice track.

Are there entertainers that capitalize on their popularity more than rappers by pushing crappy products on their fanbase?  In hip hop, having an album go platinum somehow equates to being a good businessman.  That means attempting to expand one’s empire outside of music and into other things you like (but don’t know sh*t about).  Energy drinks are a leading example of this, so let’s take a look at the Red Bull knockoffs that have been brought to you by hip hop’s finest:

Pimp Juice - Nelly

Inspired by Nelly’s hit song earlier this decade, Pimp Juice was one of the first non-music related products released by a hip hop artist.  It still hasn’t reached mainstream status, as it’s nationwide distribution is limited and they apparently don’t have enough money to pay their server bill.

CRUNK!!! - Lil Jon

Believe it or not, CRUNK!!! was not concocted in Lil Jon’s Atlanta laboratory.  It was created by Sidney Frank, the man behind Grey Goose and numerous other beverages.  Lil Jon serves as the Chief Brand Advisor, which consists of naming albums after it, carrying it with him on the red carpet, and making sure everyone pronounces 3 exclamation marks with the name.

If you can find it on shelves, CRUNK!!! is one of the highest rated energy drinks and comes in many flavors.

Liquid Ice - Ice T

In a decision that shocked the world, rapper/actor Ice-T chose to launch an energy drink in 2003 rather than an iced tea.  Liquid Ice boasts plenty of nutrients and energy-creating science stuff, but scores major points for having a cool can.

Who’s Your Daddy - Master P

Master P partnered with the company Who’s Your Daddy in 2005 to launch the aptly-named Who’s Your Daddy Energy Drinks - the self proclaimed “King of Energy”.   Considering he’s the man that brought you Hoody Hoo and Make Em Say Uhhhh, it’s too bad that P didn’t get to play a role in naming the beverage line.  Either way, it doesn’t seem like the drink has taken off, as they’re another product with a defunct website.

DEFCON3 - Russell Simmons

Hip hop mogul Russell Simmon’s “healthy energy drink” DEFCON3 got off to a fast start in 2003, with distribution in 95% of 711 stores in America.  It’s hard to find out exactly what went wrong, but DEFCON3 no longer exists.  Take note aspiring hip hop businessmen - if Russell Simmons can’t make it work, it’s not a good idea!

American Blaster - Fat Joe

While American Blast may have a lot of legitimate claims as the healthiest energy drink on the market, they lose all credibility due to their horrendous can design.  It seems as if they hired Master P’s graphic designer to create the look.  Ok, we get it, AMERICA woo!  Red Bull and the competition aren’t made in Japan or Germany, so is AMERICA really a selling point?  For a product that was recently launched, its website is screaming 2001.

TBD Guru energy drink - Kanye West

First shoes, and now Kanye is bringing his ego and hipster-cool self into the energy drink market.  The drink is rumored to increase narcissism with each sip.

While it’s not an energy drink, 50 Cent’s ‘Formula 50′ Vitamin Water is one of the most popular flavors and the partnership has netted him a cool $400 million.  He’s the clear winner in the rappers dabbling in drinks category.

Have you tried any of these drinks?

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