As long as men have vision, the Internet, and a special knack for being creepy, women will get breast implants.  They’ll do this to raise their self-esteem and perhaps draw focus away from things that are lacking, such as their face or personality.  Unfortunately for the majority of these chicks, they can’t afford (or didn’t pick) Marisa Miller’s plastic surgeon.  This means that there’s a chance that they’ll be stuck with a chest deformity that’s as unattractive as a cankle after a bad sprain.  Below are the worst boob jobs (SFW) the internet has to offer:

The Uniboob

The never-ending flow of boob that plagues women who sort their plastic surgeons by lowest price.

uniboob

An uneven uniboob, not good:

uni1

The Misdirection

Like magnets repelling from each other.

kellyboobs2

The Deflate

It’s not good for boobs to look like a moon bounce that’s about to be shut down.  Tori Spelling made The Deflate famous and has chosen to rock with it, even though money ain’t a thang.

tori_no1

tori_no2

The Side Underboob

Side boob and under boob are phenomenons in their own right, but it’s not good when your sideboob gives the appearance of a mini-underboob.

aja_implant

Flotation Devices

When breast-to-body ratio is forgotten, things get ridiculous.

annina

Twin Mounds

Bolted-on immovable objects like Victoria Beckham’s create a nice chest canal.

6

Identified Foreign Objects

Hmmm, I wonder if there’s something sitting on top of her real boobs that’s not supposed to be there.  Apparently Jewel applied her white-trash-living-in-a-van story to her plastic surgeon selection.

jewell

Chin Music

A shoulder continuation that has potential to be a third arm.

chantelle

Landslide / Low Hanging Fruit

These are ideal for women dating midgets.

susanward

Granny Boobies

Reality TV skank Audrina Partridge’s boobs may look good in pics from a different angle, but check out that sag and wrinkle!  She needs to get her investments some support.

audrina

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