Wow!  The whizkids at College Humor realized the striking similarities between Dude Where’s My Car and The Hangover.  What’ll the 2019 version be?

via hotclicks

Here’s another from the blog Overheard in Chicago:

Bum: “Good morning, ladies. If you would bless me today with a little help, it would be appreciated. I take cash, checks, and debit cards. I’d take credit cards but the machine is broken today. Mastercard and Visa only. Discover wants to big of a cut.”

Here’s another from the blog Overheard in Chicago:

Hobo: “Be an angel and give me some change darlin’. A little help.”

Upstanding Girl: “Why don’t I give you my card? I work with a group who gets the homeless back on their feet. We even have a place for you to stay.”

Hobo: “Homeless? HOMELESS? Bitch, if I was homeless, I’d be dead. Damn Chicago weather goes to a million below. You think I could survive that with two newspapers and a box? You must be out yo’ god damn mind!”

- State and Jackson

Check the site out for a good time. I’ll post some of my favorites from time to time.

Girl: “You just shouldn’t be eating it, that’s all.”

Guy: “Stop pushing your PETA values on me, woman.”

Girl: “Don’t you care about the animals? Poor cows being killed just so you can eat?”

Guy: “Whatever. If God didn’t want you to eat cows, he wouldn’t have made them out of juicy steaks. ”

- Red Line

Bum: “Hey trixie. Got another cigarette?”

Girl: “Sure. Need a light?”

Passerby: “Holy shit! A woman in Chicago who’s not a gold digger!”

Bum: “If I’d met one thirty years ago, I wouldn’t be livin’ on the street!”

- Halsted

Check the site out for a good time. I’ll post some of my favorites from time to time.

Guy #1: “No way. That’s stupid. Why wouldn’t you take seeds, or crops, or water, or something?”

Guy #2: “But it’s the truth nonetheless. Me, on a deserted island, with 5000 buffalo wings, 100 cases of beer, and a hottie? I could live for at least 6 weeks.”

- Franklin and Lake

Thanks Steve.

Check the site out for a good time. I’ll post some of my favorites from time to time.

Guy: (on cell) “No. You take control of that situation. You make it understand that YOU’RE the boss. You make the situation your bitch. And then you poop on it.”

- Purple Line

Woman: “According to Jewish law, if your mother is Jewish, you’re Jewish. And I am, but we figured Santa is more fun. And who doesn’t like Christmas lights?”

- Old Orchard Shopping Center

Check the site out for a good time. I’ll post some of my favorites from time to time.

Girl #1: “…so I just don’t know.”

Girl #2: “There are SO many choices!”

Girl #1: “Yeah! I could go as a bird, or a lion, or an elephant, or a monkey. A muppet or a cartoon character. My favorite TV star. I could even go as…”

Random Guy: “Why don’t you go as a fat, loud mouthed bitch? Oh wait. Too late.”

- Green Line

Check the site out for a good time. I’ll post some of my favorites from time to time.

Dude: “No. The lock is friggin’ broke, man. I can’t fix it.”

Genius: “Have you tried using a pen or something to rig it?”

Dude: “Yeah. I tried a pen. Right after the GOD DAMN KEY DIDN’T WORK. Idiot.”

- Metra

Check the site out for a good time. I’ll post some of my favorites from time to time.

Hysterical Woman: “I ain’t no ho! I ain’t no drug addict! I had kids! The reason I had more kids is cuz they came and took my kids away from me!”

- Outside of Ann Sather’s on Belmont

Check the site out for a good time. I’ll post some of my favorites from time to time.

1
Lady: “No man has ever hit me; I’ve been choked and shot at, but a man has never hit me!”

2
Girl #1: “When I think of islands, I think of Hawaii!”

Girl #2: “Me too! What’s funny is that they’re 5 hours behind us, but it take 8 hours to fly there.”